Avoidance of feelings is very common and It can be difficult to learn how to manage feelings effectively. Here is an effective technique that can help you to work with emotions without avoiding them known as the LABL exercise[1]. Here are the steps:
Label what you are feeling. For example: “This is sadness” or “This is shame”. If you are feeling several emotions then label the strongest emotion. If you don’t notice any emotion, then look for experiences like numbness, emptiness or neutrality and label it that.
Acknowledge the physical sensations. Where do you feel this emotion in your body? Emotions are usually felt in the area between the throat and the pelvis since there are multiple nerve endings associated with emotions in this area. If you notice the emotion in several areas, try to focus just on the area where the sensations are strongest. Can you feel the perimeter of the emotion or the space that it takes up in your body? Can you notice how the physical sensations of the emotion change from moment to moment?
Breathe into the emotion and experience it fully. Imagine that your breath moves into the area where the emotion is. Each time that you breathe in, focus on becoming a little bit more willing to experience the emotion. This step is about working towards 100% willingness to feel the emotion. This can be tough to begin with. It can help to just try to feel a little bit of it (like 5% of it) and work up. Saying things to yourself like: “It’s safe to feel this emotion”, “I am willing to feel this” or “I am in control of how much I want to feel of this” can help.
Let go. In this step you can let go of the emotion. Some people like to take some deep breaths and imagine breathing the emotion out and letting it go a little more each time. This step is to remind us that no emotions are permanent – they are always coming, going and changing.
At the end of the LABL process you might notice that the emotion has changed. It might be less, or it might be more… or it could still be very similar. The point of this exercise is not to get rid of the emotion. The point is to not avoid the emotion. It is normal to want to get rid of painful emotions and most people feel frustrated if the emotion isn’t gone after you let it go. That’s why it can be useful to repeat the LABL steps several times each time that you sit down to do it. Once you let go, go back to the start and label whatever feeling is strongest and start again. This will help you to learn that trying to get rid of emotions is avoiding. The LABL exercise is designed to increase your willingness to experience emotions. This will help you to reduce the avoidance of emotion that tends to keep anxiety and depression going.
