This is the second post in a series on
Mindfulness. Mindfulness refers to many things but here I am referring to a
specific set of skills, called mindfulness skills that have been tested in
research trials and shown to improve wellbeing if practised. This post looks at
an exercise about letting go of the controlling part of our awareness to access
a state of peace. I’ll firstly go over how to identify the controller part in
our thinking then discuss the exercise.
What Is The Controller?
The Controller is the set of thoughts that
are aimed at making effort and changing things. It can be difficult to identify
these thoughts as most people don’t “hear” these types of thoughts so you may
need to ask yourself repeatedly: “Am I trying to get somewhere else right now?”
or “Do I believe that this moment is not ok?” If the answer is yes, the
Controller is probably active.
Thoughts about planning for the future are
Controller thoughts. For example: thinking about what you are going to buy for
dinner or how you are going to manage an upcoming meeting, or any other aspect
of the future means your mind is trying to figure out what you need to do in
order to feel ok. Your mind thinks that ‘feeling ok’ is in the future and that
you will feel good later on if you are prepared and know what to do. This may
be partly true; however, it also means that there is much less ability to enjoy
peace in the present moment. You can plan if you want to but if you want to
find peace right now, learn to let go of the controller.
Thoughts about the past are also Controller
thoughts. For example: thinking about times when things didn’t go well or going
over events from the past. This can occur for many reasons but often there is a
critical theme in Controller thoughts where our minds repeatedly remind us
about our mistakes. Perhaps the control comes from the mind’s desire to learn
from these. Who knows? Regardless, these thoughts are distractions from being
able to enjoy the peace in the present moment. Sometimes letting go of thoughts
about the past can bring up emotions. We can feel fear, frustration or other
feelings when we make a decision to let go. However, it’s easier to let go of a
thought then feel the emotion than it is to keep ruminating because ruminating
will add more and more fuel to the emotion and keep us stuck
Now you know a bit about identifying the
controlling aspects of thinking, here are the steps to let go:
Exercise: Letting Go of the Controller
Sit comfortably with your eyes closed.
Practice controlled breathing (http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8ABF9C2342A85A0A). When you start to feel relaxed then
allow your breathing to go at it’s own pace.
Imagine that you are standing in a large
field holding a bunch of balloons. Look around you in the scene and describe
what you see. Each time you have a ‘descriptive thought’ like “A line of trees”
or “Some low bushes” then imagine putting each thought into a balloon and
letting it go.
Now bring your attention inward and
describe your emotions, physical sensations, urges and thoughts. Each time you
have an ‘internal experience’ like “an urge to scratch my nose” or “a tingling
in my knee” or “a thought about the past” then imagine putting each thought
into a balloon and letting it go.
Now bring your intention to letting go of
all of your internal experiences. You can do this by asking yourself:
“Am I trying to control anything right
now?”
“Am I allowing everything to be as it is?”
“Is there any part of me that is making
effort?”
It’s normal for more thoughts, urges,
sensations, and emotions to arise. Each time they do, place them onto a balloon
and let them go. As you do this, you might notice that things become more
peaceful. When this occurs, you can investigate and be curious about what it is
like when you let go by asking yourself:
“What happens when there is no strategy?”
“What is it like when I allow everything to
be as it is?”
You might notice that when you let go of
control, when you place each experience onto a balloon and pay it no more
attention, that there is a sense of spaciousness that comes into awareness.
Allow yourself to feel that openness. There is nothing to understand there –
just open to the space that is in that moment.
There is always an opportunity to keep
letting go at deeper and deeper levels. Just watch what happens, without any
commentary, without trying to figure it out, keep it or learn from it. Each
moment you let go of your internal experience is an opportunity to experience
stillness. Stay as long as you want.
Where Can I Find Out More About This?
There are lots of great guided meditations
on YouTube. The style of meditation is called self-enquiry. I quite like this
one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQGRSddbU0I&list=PL-CBEJ7_BksVqmxcP0TkxycwwzPFFh99U
