Many of the failures and
difficulties in your life are due to your inner-critic. Your inner-critic is
the internal voice that we all have that tries to sabotage our lives by telling
us that we are always wrong in some way. Imagine that someone else had to listen
to your inner-critic all day long. Would they start to struggle as well?
Perhaps you are not such a failure but you might have a ‘critic problem’.
Step 1 is to examine what the
critic has done in your life. Look at the following example then complete your
own below
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What my critic tells me?
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What do I do when I listen to or believe the
critic?
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How has this confirmed what the critic wanted
me to believe?
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How might it have turned out differently if
you didn’t have a critic?
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You
will always fail so why bother.
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I
don’t try. I don’t speak up. I don’t ask for things. I use drugs because
there is nothing else good in my life.
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Using
drugs always makes me feel like I am a failure.
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I
would be able to be more social, do better at work, and not feel so stressed
that the only peace I can have is being stoned.
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Complete this one for your
own situation and history:
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What my critic tells me?
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What do I do when I listen to or believe the
critic?
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How has this confirmed what the critic wanted
me to believe?
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How might it have turned out differently if
you didn’t have a critic?
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The next step is to talk back
to the critic when it tries to run your life. In the left hand box write down
what your critic says and in the right hand box write down what you can say
back to it.
Here is an example of someone else challenging their inner critic…
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What does
the critic say?
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Talk back
to it! Kick it out!
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You can’t trust yourself.
This is all your fault.
You’re not good enough.
You should have known better.
You shouldn’t have made those
mistakes in the past.
You’re handling this the wrong
way.
You can’t do anything right.
You can’t fix this.
You don’t deserve to be angry. You
have no right.
You only have yourself to blame.
You’re not strong enough to set
boundaries with others.
Whatever boundaries that you set,
they will only be broken.
Even if you try to move on, things
will go wrong and you will be back where you started.
You will always be alone. You have
to face how much damage this has caused you.
It’s too painful to be alone.
You’re hopeless.
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Nothing that you say helps me.
Whenever I listen to you I feel hopeless and worthless and inadequate. I know
exactly what you are going to say. I know you are here because I feel anxiety
and fear and shame. It’s so boring. I don’t have to listen to you anymore. If
you weren’t here I would be able to see that I am doing ok. You are the
reason why I always feel like I am not good enough. Without you I would be
able to see and accept that I am getting better, that I am more myself now,
and that I am doing what is best for me. You are the reason why I can’t
accept myself and the good things in my life. You make me feel like I don’t
deserve the good things. You are just trying to ruin my life. You don’t want
me to see that I can have fun and be free. You make me think everything is
hard. I am sick of you telling me that I can’t cope. I am sick of you telling
me that I can’t do anything about it. If you weren’t here I would be able to
trust myself and my own guidance. I don’t need you. I don’t want you. I don’t
deserve you. You don’t care about me. You make me feel ashamed even now of
standing up for myself. ENOUGH! Go away and leave me alone.
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Try the exercise yourself…
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What does
the critic say?
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Talk back
to it! Kick it out!
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